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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Child misbehaviors; who is to blame?

While parents and children have their own domain in the family and the society, they have equal rights and privileges being both humans. Because of that they have equal share in keeping watch of their action in and outside of family.

But when a child under parental guidance misbehaved the question always arise "Who is to be blamed?" I particularly touched on this issue because I was at the same situation when my child joined a gang without my knowledge because I was busy with work and other things.

When I searched for information I have read that the factors that contribute to child mis-behaviors based on reports are the following:

1. Previous aggressive or violent behavior,
2. Being the victim of physical abuse and/or sexual abuse
3. Exposure to violence in the home and/or community,
4. genetic (family heredity) factors,
5. exposure to violence in media (TV, movies, etc.),
6. use of drugs and/or alcohol,

Most of these causes emanates from the home. Therefore a greater portion of the load concerning misbehavior are the people around the misbehaving child. I have experienced the case and therefore I understand that when my child joined a gang I was part of the cause, I was partly to be blamed.

But blaming is not the solution. Knowing the responsibility means we know we should handle the misbehavior. At this point the solution must be carefully planned. And knowing the problem is beginning of the solution. Of course I offer my actions to God and I ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

1 comment:

WillyJ said...

Very good post, brod Romy.

I think it is even more complicated and confusing, speaking from my own experience long ago as a teen and now as a parent. Of course the Christian way of building a loving family centered on Christ as a domestic church is our only sure safeguard, and that is why the evil one wants to prevent this from happening. When I look back to the late 70's at what I went through as a teen, I shudder at the thought. Now I look at my children and thank God they are angels compared to me when I was the same age. Now I know that my parents prayed a lot, along with the severe disciplinary measures that I got (Come to think of it now, I deserved those). I realize that large doses of parental love came along with the disciplinary measures. Finally, you are right - it is not possible without the Holy Spirit.