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Friday, August 1, 2008


Parenting has become so complicated in present times than during the past. This is not just a statement of self impression but this is a sentiment echoed by most parents across different nationality and cultures around the world. A lot of psychologists and counselors and other authorities in the field of human relations proposed practical solutions to dealing with parent-children relationships. All of these techniques and approaches are effective in a case to case basis, the reason why one cannot be recommended universally.

I do not intend to make my own formula here but I want to share what I thought would be a good idea. I base my argument on St. Paul's statement in Acts 24:16 which states, "This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men." This may seem out of context but the ideas encapsulated within this verse is much deeper than the word itself. Why did I say so? It reflects to the primary commandments of loving God and others, as stated by Jesus.

Going deeper into the parenting issue, parents being the major player in the parenting business must take greater chunk of the responsibility, let's say about 80-20. So, what should parents do with his 80%? Applying the principles I mentioned above, I suggest parents must consider his role as (1) an instructor, (2) an authority of discipline, and (3) an advocate of love and respect in the exercise of the first two responsibilities.

Being an instructor parents must be equipped with the things required to teach the children. It must be the responsibility of the parents to know good values and its applications before teaching the children. Just as teachers need to finish a degree before they can teach in schools, parents must be equipped with knowledge on parenting before they actually become parents. I do not intend to elaborate further on this issue since this is self-explanatory. This principles had been proven by the fact that kids learn good values by the examples their parents have shown.

As an authority of discipline, parents must understand that mis-behaviors should be dealt with. There are different methods that works in different situations. To impose disciplinary actions, parents must revolve within the bounds of respect and love. When you show respect and love in the acts of disciplining your children there is no reason they will not learn to respect and love in return. Hurting them may lead to escalation of stubbornness and loss of respect not only for you but for their own selves.

Children who have enough age to understand must consider the 20% responsibility to accept the teachings and submit to the disciplinary action with love, respect, and understanding that their good parents are doing this for their own good. Children must understand that like teachers who teach them math, science, history, and others, parents also want to teach them good values and train them to be better socially prepared persons. And just as teachers want to make good mathematicians, scientists, and philosophers, parents want their children to be good and responsible citizens.

Yes, there is no universal approach to parenting, but there is a universal ways of life that a good person must live and that is the way to Love.

1 comment:

Nilz said...

Gone are the days of grandfathers when they could have ordered - 'Sit down, or Stand Up, or 'White wash the fence!'...
Present parenting has turned out to be a test of your compromising power, endurance and tolerance limit.