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Monday, September 1, 2008

Lord here I am

I couldn't understand my feelings when I saw my eldest son Enrico Carlo wearing a red cassock walk down the aisle from the sacristy of the Cathedral in a slow, serious, and solemn fashion going straight ahead in front of the people. His right palm was laid open over his left chest as a sign of allegiance to serve God and the people while his left was bent in front where a while surplice hanged.

The scene was from the solemn investiture rites integrated in the Holy Mass for the new young altar servers of our Cathedral church, the Holy Rosary Parish, the center of the diocesan service in the Diocese of Naval in the Province of Biliran, Philippines. My boy was among the 23 who took their vows to serve the altar last August 29, 2008.

Before that instance, the boys who were seated in the first row seats of the cathedral wearing white shirts and black pants were called one by one and given the sets of the garments by the Bishop and then slowly entered the sacristy. Carlo was third from the last who received the uniforms. The respective parents of these boys, including us, were seated in the next rows. A minute or two of silence followed then the lyrics of the song "Lord Here I am" echoed and broke the silence. As the meaning of every line of the drifts into my soul the emotions touched me. The first lines of the song, which said "Lord here I am to answer your call. Lord here I am to serve and love you. I have left everything just to follow you," was a vow of submission to leave out from the world and serve God. It raised a question upon my head, "How am I in my own vow to serve the Lord?" Just as these lines were sung I saw my son unexpectedly appeared from the door first. I didn't expect the timing because I thought he was to come out third from the last.

I couldn't hold back my emotions seeing my son in such a "holy" state glowing like an angel from the altar. I felt proud yet I felt guilty because my son almost could not make it into the rite because we lack the funds to have the uniforms. Besides, I couldn't trust him because he is too young and irresponsible. Yet he was so insistent and so he and her mother looked for donors and finally got the uniform a day before the ceremony. At that very instant I asked the Lord forgiveness for not trusting Him, and doubting God's call, and not believing the fact that God qualifies the chosen and does not choose the qualified. My son may not qualify to serve the altar in my own standard, yet God makes him qualified.

That same day has changed my attitude towards my son as I was able to show more of my love to him and respect to him as a new squire of the altar of God. By that moment I whispered to God saying 'God he is yours, do whatever is best for him and I submit to your will.'

Finally by the time I talked to my son he told me, he is going to the seminary next year. I was dumbfounded again knowing my financial capacity. But then I understand God will provide in whatever ways.


Anonymous said...

Where did you get the download of "Lord, Here I Am?" Who are the artists and on what album? I too love this song and have looked for it everywhere.

romy said...

If you click on the link it would lead you to the source where you can download it.